Skyrim's Thieves Guild - My Kinda People

It's no surprise that my last post about the Erotica I found in Haelga's room (and in newer news, on the shelf in one of the breweries too) is the most read post on my blog.  Who doesn't like sexy times?  I was visiting my Aunt and Uncle over the weekend and he was telling me how nerdy I am for posting about sex in my blog while he's got his headphones on and is swearing at some 16 year olds while he's playing WoW.  As he taught my 3 year old cousin to say - "Cool Story Bro."

I have definitely been logging more playing hours than WRITING hours...which is probably not good for business BUT THIS GAME IS SO EXCITING!!!!

Interestingly, the second most viewed post is the one where I talk about FOOD.  So I will do that again and then tell you how I proceeded to burn some bee hives.

FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS BEAUTY OF A BREAKFAST

That, my friends, is roasted bell pepper (of the red variety) with an EGG in the middle of it.  Complete with some Kicking Horse Coffee (Kick Ass) and a little salt, pepper, and chilli powder.  GENIUS.

That prepared me for a THIEVES GUILD quest.  This quest line is becoming one of my favorites (aside from the COMPANIONS one and I found out something EXCITING there but I don't want to ruin it because it was just so cool!).  Have I even told you about the thieves guild?!?!?!  They are a group of dudes and dudettes who are into pickpocketing and stealing and cunning and run Riften under the noses of the Jarl.  What a group!  I love 'em.  I first had to show that I'm worth their time by telling a bunch of punks to pay up.  I had to throw a statue around and break some urn and basically just be badass and finally Brynjolf was all like "great work, the thieves guild is BACK IN ACTION"

But what do you mean BACK in action?  As it turns out the thieves guild's biggest client is Maven Blackbriar, the lady in charge of the Blackbriar Meadery and things are happening that are slowly shutting her down.  We don't know what exactly...but one thing is for sure:  The dude who owns Goldenglow Estate has SOLD his property which means they are NOT going to be supplying the necessary shit for making the MEAD (and the mead is SO important...obvs).  My mission, which I totally chose to take, was to intimidate the guy and burn THREE bee hives to say "HEY BITCH WE'RE SERIOUS" and then steal some things from the estate.

THE BEE HIVES!  I had to swim and get to the little island and BEAT UP SOME DUDES with arrows.  Like I said in previous posts, I think I'm AWESOME and I was able to stealthily kill a lot of the guys protecting the place and with the flames from my hand I was able to SET THAT SHIT ON FIIIIIIIIIIRRRE!!!!!!!  Like THIS ---->

WOOOP WOOOP.  I got the deed from the house and there was this WEIRD symbol on it....so I don't know.  There is definitely some one plotting the demise of the Thieves Gild.  Which is sad because I am really liking being a part of their little gang.  They're some kind of alright.  They're like a family so I'm going to continue to help them out.  I'm a sucker for the badasses, y'know?

Skyrim: The ruiner of Relationships, or Being a Gamer's Girlfriend

I want to dedicate this post to ALL the girlfriends of gamers out there.  You know, the ladies who sit on the other end of the couch (or another couch alltogether) while their significant other is playing Mass Effect, or the lady who is impatiently waiting at a table for two while her boyfriend is just finishing that last quest, or the woman who goes to bed at 12:30am because she has to work in the morning and has had her sexual advances turned down because her boyfriend was busy falling out of an airplane or assassinating some priest.

But really - what's a guy to do?  Or a GAL, in my case.  There are those couples where the guy is super into this stuff and the girl looks like that lady above being all like "Seriously John Smith....you prematurely ejaculated on purpose just to make it to your raid on time?", and then there are girls who are like me that think it's radical their dudes are into this stuff and aren't entirely foreign to the world of gaming, and then there are the girls who are SUPER into gaming and know a lot more than me because they've been gaming since they were fetuses.


That guy I date always tells me how awesome I am for a lot of reasons:  My taste in music is really great, I am super into comics/graphic novels (and you throw in a little fairy tale in there I'm HOOKED), I know the parts/engineering under the hood of my car and can also fix some of them myself, I can change a tire, and up until now, I idly sat by while he played video games and he was stoked that I wasn't ^ that girl.

But now I'm finding myself in a situation that a lot of guys are in.  MY girlfriends aren't understanding my recent obsession/possession of SKYRIM.  A girlfriend of mine called me last month before I started playing and I asked her about the guy she had been sleeping with:

Me: SO, how are things with whatshisname?

J: Oh ummm, I'm not sure, he hasn't called or texted me in like two weeks.

Me: What?! Why?

J: Well, the last time we hung out he went to the store and bought skyrim, then we went home, had sex, and I came home.  I haven't heard from him since.

SOUND FAMILIAR TO ANYONE!??!?!!  I'm pretty sure that resonates with a few people entering into a new thing or whatever it is.  I also had another situation when I was out drinking with a guy friend I hadn't seen in a while:

Me: So Joe, What's new?

Joe: Not too much.

Joe's friend: HEY, is your girlfriend coming out tonight?

Joe: She's NOT my girlfriend.

Joe's friend: What do you MEAN she's not your girlfriend?  Any girl who sits on your couch and watches you play Skyrim is your girlfriend.

Point taken Joe's Friend....Point taken.

So basically, my whole POINT of this post is:  girls......just LET IT HAPPEN.  PLAY A LITTLE. OR, Read my Blog...because then you will at least know a little bit of what your boyfriend is talking about when he's like "That Haunted House in Markarth is BOGUS."  That and I'm really funny.