Inquisition: The Intro

I have been away for a looooooooong time. I tried playing Dragon Age Origins on XBox and then we sold the XBox. So.....

A few things I was expecting about the intro to Inquisition:

• me waking up in some weird place
• me being captured of some sort like in ALL the games I've ever played
• me looking BADASS (as usual)
• some sexual tension

did Inquisition deliver? YOU BETTA BELIEB IT DUDE. ALL of those things happened.

There was darkness. There was me deciding I wanted to look like a white haired rogue archer elf with sweet face tattoos (sigh, I wish I didn't have to be professional in real life).  Some lady cried for help. I was mistaken for a bad guy. I was handcuffed. Some ridiculously short hairy chested man with a crossbow made some sexual jokes to the lady who handcuffed me. In hindsight, I guess he's a dwarf. His name is Varric. 

This is me and my peeps of the inquisition. 

REGARDLESS, it's clear I'm on a mission now that the Holy Chantry is all messed up and there are no more religious leaders around until they appoint a new one.  Let me tell you, I already want to punch one of the Chancellor's in the face. Like I might actually get up off the couch and punch the TV (wait.........who am I kidding, I'm not going to get up off the couch....).

Does this not look like a dude you'd feel fully satisfied punching in the face?

I fully don't understand the fighting mechanisms in this game. You can be ALL the people in your group of people who follow you, so what they're telling me is that I have to worry about not only MY own upgrades and levelling and making decisions based on me being awesome and fucking shit up, but I have to make them for ALL of my party members too?  This is sounding like a lot of work.

Also, when we're in a fight, I can SLOW MOTION that shit down and FREEZE TIME BECAUSE I"M A WIZARD, HARRY! (wait, no...I'm an Elf Rogue Archer.....so how does that make sense?). So I'm an Elf Rogue Archer Wizard who can freeze time and my soul jumps from party member to party member telling them exactly where I want them to go and who I want them to shoot and then I can press the R2 pad and make them slowly progress and do the things I asked them to do IN SLOW MOTION BABY.

I know you're dying to know how I've managed in combat so far: the answer is pretty well. Although I might have put the hairy chested doesn't wear armour because he's too good looking dwarf in some trees somewhere by accident so all his crossbowing didn't really do anything, and I might have used my bow while standing right in front of most of the ghouls I was fighting and then wondered what the blue stuff was floating around me until I remembered that there was an actual WIZARD in my group who can heal you....as long as they're far away.....and not getting shot at.....like when you slow motion put them right in the heart of combat.

I think I get it now.