The time Astaldofânwen almost gets her head chopped off

Oh hey there.  I don't have anything better to do over the next two months (unless I miraculously get employed) so how better to spend my time than playing SKYRIM and eating delicious treats - right?  I mean, I'm going to be a teacher and all the children will be talking about this so I have to know what they're talking about right?

I've been putting off buying Skyrim all week because I had a French Assessment exam today and my need for studying was of the important variety and I did not want to give into temptation (as tempting as it was).

After being told that I failed (in my opinion, please note, not the final verdict) the oral portion of the test I headed straight to my nearest Best Buy to pee and reminded myself that TODAY IS THE DAY that I will release my bladder and BUY SKYRIM.

I came home, opened a bag of Spicy ketchup flavoured Ruffle Chips (by the way - they said it was a new flavour and they are LIARS, that shit is ALL DRESSED no matter what they market it as), and turned on the PS3.  I'm all alone right now and the crazy orc-like chanting in the background sort of freaked me out (and sort of made me think of LOTR) but mostly just freaked me out.

The controls are confusing for me because I'm still just getting used to them BUT I found myself in a cart! on my way to SOMEWHERE but my hands were TIED and people were talking about how innocent they were and there was obviously a really intense guy that the other dudes in the cart were talking about being...well....important?  I'm obviously captured, I don't know why but all I'm thinking is "BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN CUSTOMIZED MY CHARACTER YET."

We get to the place where all the prisoners are supposed to get out and they do some sort of roll call as if we're in the army (do they really care WHO we are?  They're about to kill us anyway).  BUT they didn't know who I was and THIS is where I got to customize my radical character.

I've always wanted to be an elf (mainly because Legolas would be pretty cool to make out with) so WOOD ELF it was and my skin was made dark and I had dirt on my face and super dark hair and war paint on my face and pointy ears and weird red eyes.  I have named her Astaldofânwen because I asked the google for some good elf names and there was a generator and I used it.  Also, the "wen" bit is like "Arwen" and I'm down with that too.

So Astaldofânwen looks up at some noises and a MASSIVE BLACK DRAGON like this one:

attacks and people are burned and houses are wrecked and my hands are STILL annoyingly bound so I'm running around and following this guy who was about to KILL ME because he can help me?  I'm a wood elf and I'm really trusting (apparently) but it pays off because he cuts the ropes from my hand and we run to some place where he knows people and we can be safe.

More things happened but now I'm going to eat dinner because it is 8pm and I am HUNGRY because fake spice-ketchup-really-all-dressed chips do NOT satisfy my belly especially after being chased by a dragon and almost getting my HEAD CUT OFF.  Hard life, being a Wood Elf.