Pirates of the Carribean: But really a Skyrim Quest

So remember that time that I said I had TOO MANY QUESTS?!?!?!?!  That wasn't even the beginning.  I got some good advice from a friend today and he said: screw the main quest, do all the little ones!  To which I replied "FUCK YEAH".

When I beat that Dwarven Centurion I found this little jewel thing called the "Beacon of somenameicantremember"and this CREEPY otherworldly voice bellowed out some mumbojumbo about bringing this special beacon to Mount Kilkreath and it was kind of scary?!?!  It went something like " YOUUUUUUUUUU YOUUUU THERE WITH THAT BEACON YOU'VE FOUND IT AND YOU MUST BRING IT TO ME, TO MEEEEEEEEE.  IT HAS BEEN STOLEN AND YOU MUST RETURN IT BECAUSE I AM A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER WHO CAN SPEAK TO YOU WITHOUT BEING SEEEEEEEEN" or something to that effect.

Cool, I guess.  But not as cool as killing some reptilian pirates!!!!!!!

Basically while I was in Solitude this scaley dude asked me if I wanted to make some cash.  You might not know this (I mean, how would you, because I haven't told you yet but here I'll tell you now) but I'm trying to buy a house in Solitude for which I need money.....so a random job off the side of the street? NO PROBLEMO BRO.

It's a pretty skeezy job but - let's be honest here - I'm not a very honest person in this game (as my friend puts it....I'm a kleptomaniac and a big jerk because I interrupt people all the time).  So here I am on the quest to put out the fire in the lighthouse so that this boat can run afoul after losing its way and WE swoop in and help them for which we will be rewarded kindly for! RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!


WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I come up to seeing THIS debauchery:

 

Which just happens to be the Reptile's bandits who KILLED everyone on the ship and took all the loot for themselves and DID NOT SAVE ANYONE.  Brutal - right?  So I am a little sad about it but I talk to one of them and they're like oh yeah, go talk to the Reptile's sister, Deeja, and she'll pay you for your hard work.  I get down there and she's like "OH YES YOU WILL BE REWARDED............WITH AN ARROW TO THE KNEE!" Just kidding, it was more like a dagger to my ribcage so I was forced to KILL HER and all the other bandits and then find that ASSHOLE Reptile who swindled me!

So we get to go to this GROTTO which was, in all honesty, a pretty rad hideout for a bad guy.  I would probably hide out in there too.  It looked basically like an old boat hidden in a cave-made-into-a-home.  SO, I stole all the bear pelts and took a bunch of potatoes and KILLED THE REPTILE.  

I don't understand why people in this game keep thinking I'm feeble, as if I'm not going to come back and KICK THEIR ASSES.

Serves them right.  NOW OFF TO GREENER PASTURES.